is it possible to overload our kids?

[jane_dmitrova]

Recently I was thinking and thinking whether my son is overloaded by all things I am doing with him, whether it is too much or not? What do you think? Is it possible to overload kids?

[MummyRoo]

I think that as long as you spend plenty of time just playing with him, and as long as he loves the learning that you do, he will get a wonderful start to his education 

[Korrale4kq]

I certainly have a few expectations for James. He reads to me each day, he does reading bear, he does LMS, and we do some math. Mostly through play or day to day life.  I expect him to clean up messes, including spills. He does all those things and more with absolutely no protest. He doesn't know life any differently.
We do a lot more things as he is willing. And he is often very willing. Journal writing, flash cards, educational apps and more.
He is only 2. I don't think he knows any different and I want it to be that way. But most importantly he is a very happy little boy. No tantrums of any kind. He still gets lots of unstructured play. Playing with us, playing by himself.
Now the other night I was not feeling well and decided to skip bedtime reading. He was quite upset that he did not get to read to me. So there is an indication that he loves it.

[nuria2012]

It is a question that is my mind since I began in this amazing journey in my baby´s teaching. Today I have not shown anything in the computer. My LO (can you give me the word that this represents in English???, little...) is looking at the computer and suddenly she screams, I show her another cd, she shouts..., I show her flashcards she screams... She liked, but perhaps, I have to do shorter sessions... Today, she will see LR.     Less time with my laptop.

[Wolfwind]

Doman has what he calls the Fail-Safe Law: "If you are not having a wonderful time or your child is not having a wonderful time, STOP!  You are doing something wrong."  I think that covers a lot of the worry about overloading.  But I ask myself a few questions:

1. Am I stressed?  If I'm stressed, my kids will sense it and things won't go well.  If Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy, as they say.  So sometimes I put our EL stuff away or do less until I'm having a better day or I've gotten the house cleaned or I've read something on this forum that inspired me... Whatever it takes.

2. Is my child having fun?  When she's older, she will have to learn to do things that aren't fun.  But I haven't decided to implement that yet, in EL anyway.  We only do fun things.

3. Is she fussy or sleeping poorly?  Even if she's having fun, if it's affecting her mood or sleep at other times of the day, it's too much.

4. Does she play on her own?  Every parent will have their own ideas on how much it's necessary for a child to play on her own, but is she meeting mine?  If not, I'm spending too much time doing EL with her.  She needs some free time to make up her own games.  Also included in this is times when I play with her but she leads and I just follow along.  Of course, both of these often end up incorporating EL ideas, but it's her that comes up with it, not me.

If I'm satisfied with those four things, I don't think she could be overloaded.

(BTW, "LO" stands for "little one.")

[kmum]

I remember reading a quote from Glenn Doman.  I can't remember it word for word but basically it said that the more information you put into your brain, the more it is able to hold.

I agree with pp's.  As long as you & your child are both having fun, you aren't doing too much.

[nuria2012]

Hello,n

I have been thinking about why my LO have behaved in that way. Well, there is something wrong, it is a fact. It is my fault. Now  I am not showing her so many flaschards in the last days. Only Mummy, Daddy and phone, something that she likes too much...   Sometimes I think that she recognizes Mummy. She was able to say mamá when she was three months and a half...    Perhaps she did not know what she was saying, of course.

She is watching less DVDS on TV and computer. I do not want to overload her.

I am chosing what she likes. The problem is that when I change the cartoon, she gets nervous and shout in order to be replaced for some of her favourite DVDs such as Learn to talk or some videos of famous nursery rhymes Huckery D dock...alphabet sing along.

Besides, I cannot afford to pay more DVDs in this month. I am looking your recommendations in order to buy later. I began to read How to teach your baby to read. It is must if I want to follow Glenn Doman´s indications...

[FomerlyMrsObedih_Now_BatmansMama]

Hello Nuria2012,

 Glad to hear there is some improvement with your LO's reactions  

Thought I'd offer a few suggestions that have worked with my DS. I do have to manage overloading him as well, I tended to be over enthusiatic and left him feeling pressurised and things weren't fun any more. Here's what I learned to STOP doing under loud dramatic protest! :

1. Do not insist on choosing his dvds - he'll take it out if he's bored anyway! Offer him a choice of DVDs and let him watch what he wants. If he's driving me mad with one in particular I leave that till evening. I suggest dvds to him but don't force, i sometimes will say either this dvd or go play if I am trying to interest him in sth new. But he's generally good at picking the dvds he needs to fill his own knowledge gaps or entertainment needs.

2. Do not correct him all the time and when i do i try to be polite and quickly move on. E.g "yes that does look like a 7 but i think it's a 1" For ages he insisted on calling the diamond shape "hot" he'd obviously seen something somewhere that made a connection for him. I didn't correct him alot on this but left preschool prep dvd to do that over time. Same with LR correcting his confusion over donkey and horse! Constantly correcting  is as frustrating and rude for them as it is for us if a friend or boss at work were doing the same.

3. Do not turn everygame he is playing into a learning opportunity. Whatever he's doing with foam numbers flashcard or the phonics flip chart thingy is not my business unless he calls me over or comes to show me    I found interjecting to show him the 'correct' way often had him chuck the things all over and wail in protest.

4. Outdoors time everyday regardless of weather. Well i try! We play physical games indoors and he has recently started enjoying a few play dates, he loves being social and busy, so I help him be so.

5. Do not insist on activities or books or flash cards if he pushes my hand away. Rather, I have EL centres around our home, our living room is basically his classroom, so whatever he chooses to do on his own (and he has plenty alone time now at 2 (in two weeks) where i leave him in the living room with music or a dvd on and he comes and goes frm me as he wants. Flash cards are stuck on the wall and left lying around for him to play with. Really my job is providing variety and interesting intellectual food for him to feast on at his own pace!

I read I think from John Holt that children are often reminded of their own powerlessness and that can feel humiliating for them. This touched me deeply and I saw my son's tantrums and upsets differently in light of that. So I do what I can to ensure he feels empowered by EL and make sure it does not become yet one more thing in his world he has not control over, that leaves him feeling overwhelmed and disempowered.

Hope something in there helps! 

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