How to help DS who doesn't communicate.

[fabangel]

Hello eveyrone,

Sorry if I have asked before, I'm such a sieve-head, but I would just like any views on how to help DS1 who had a difficult start (major surgery which hindered physical development and then poor eyesight, multilingual home....)

He "speaks" in that he will tell you that he "want X rhyme or Y rhyme", "want juice", "want cornflakes" (when you present him with weetabix) but he doesn't "communicate".  If you ask him a question, any question, he says "sewing machine / Three Blind Mice / Uncle Andy" or any other random answer.  When I went to pick him up from preschool the other day, he didn't say "Hello Mummy", even though he probably could, but "Lulu and Andy" (my sister and brother in law).  We hardly see them and they have certainly never picked him up from preschool so it's extremely random.   If you ask "Do you want milk or water?"  he mirrors back "milk or water" like he hasn't understood it's a choice.  He only says the things he likes.  If he has no interest, he may well know it but won't express it, as we have discovered.

Just wondering if anyone else has come across this? Speech therapy say to promote turn-taking (because conversation involves taking turns) and pretend play.  I'm not impressed.  It's hard work doing pretend play with someone who doesn't speak and doesn't even sit still to watch (but is taking stuff in....).  They have to say something, I suppose, to justify their existence. 

I've noticed that after reading him a lot of books (I agree with that article posted on here which says children thrive on 30,000 words), he comes out with some communication
Me;Why aren't you eating your cornflakes?
Him: (long pause.... very quietly) Want houmous
but it still looks like a very long road...
Just hoping for any tips. 
Many thanks.

[TeachingMyToddlers]

This is only an idea based on what little information is available in this post, but look into Central Auditory Processing Disorder. I did some searches and it seems that it can present itself in the way you describe. I hate "labeling" children, but if it helps him get services/help from specialists then labeling is needed. Again, it could just be a kid being a kid and this may turn out to be nothing, but it's worth looking into. After you have figured out the issue, you're halfway there to solving it! The good news is that all early intervention helps, so if this does turn out to be "something," you are already on the right track by starting early!

[fabangel]

That's great thanks.  Preschool have their own speech therapist so I shall ask her tomorrow.  Hoping he's just a difficult customer.... when I shout "chocolate", he processes that very well! :P But thanks because this does make sense for me.   

[Skippy]

You could ask how he's doing in daycare/pre-school?  Does he do the same communication problem
all day.


These ideas are definitely not "cure-alls" but maybe a "mini-step" towards some improvement.
Use puppets:  Any puppets that appeal to him.  Small puppets that he can handle.  Also you can make a plain cloth puppet,
then take a photo and put it on say with velcro.  You can also laminate the photo.  The puppets can then be of Mommy, brother, grandma, or animals, pets.
2)  Does he read?  Can he see well enough to read?  Can he read if the letters are large enough?  If he has started reading himself. you can make a very simple "Script" and you can read one part and
he can read the other.  You can give him only one part.  You can use the puppets.
Example:
Grandma puppet:  Hi Jason
Jason puppet:  Hi Grandma
Grandma:  How old are you?
Jason:  I'm four!

You could work into the script some of his favorite words
like, Chocolate!

MOM:  What is brown:?
DS:  Chocolate
MOM:  Wich is darker?  white milk or chocolate?
DS  Chocolate!

Then see if you can find any other favorite word



If he likes chocolate, and you want to give him  some, a kind with not many calories are
the tiny baking M&Ms. 

These, of course, don't cure your problem, but they might be possibilities. 
All the best, Skippy

[fabangel]

Thanks Skippy.  I'll try those although he really is unique, bless.  Yes he is the same at Preschool.  They say that if an adult didn't go over and engage him he would play by himself the whole session.  Speech therapy said I had to involve him in daily life, seriously?  Here are some excerpts from today:
Me: Anthony, put these (clothes) in your room. (runs off)
Come here (nothing).  Come here Ants.  (nothing) COME HERE!!!! OK, now take these and put - them - in - your - room.  Drops them on floor on the landing.  We do the come here rigmarole again.  He drops them in the basket.  And in the basket again.  OK, that's good, but IN - Your - Room !!.  I put them in his room while he runs round, not seeming to pay attention. 

I give him more clothes.  He does near enough the same thing again.  It's exhausting.  Am I an evil mummy not to involve him?

Yesterday we also went to a group for 3-4 year olds.  The baby "played" with a 19 month old.  They stroked each other's faces for a while and he also "listened" to teh story for short periods, looking straight at the lady reading.  Meanwhile his big brother was playing with the window, chewing foam letters and investigating the radiator.

He has actually had an ok day today, with lots of what I call "joined up thinking".  Otherwise, I may not have mentioned that another symptom is that he answers questions with a random answer or a blank.  Amazingly, we were watching the second YBCR dvd which asked "what's your favourite book?" and he said a book title!!!!

I spoke to preschool who agreed that it's laughable for Speech Therapy to suggest Pretend Play or Turn Taking (early life skills he has missed out on) when there are so many other issues.  They do see how features of receptive language disorder and some of the processing disorder do fit but not all.  So he will be seen by a specialist paediatrician some time soon.... Keep the ideas coming.  Thanks for your input so far )

[Kenberlin]

In preschool he may start communicate well because a child learn to speak when he saw other children of his same group. As the mothers are the first teacher of  a child you should do some extra efforts to help him in communicate.
You can read a story book for him and use the picture books and sing nursery rhymes for him.
Talk him and tell him your daily schedule in your easy language so that he will try to understand that.
Choose a best speech therapist who is professional and have experienced.

[Skippy]

You mentioned that he responded to the DVD ,
YBCR, so if something works, try it some more.

Also with a webcam, you can make your own mini-
DVDs. 
Some children respond to music, singing,
a program such as Kindermusik or Musicgarten.
You could even try singing  - you could make up any
tune or use familiar ones like Mary had a Little Lamb,
Example: (Tune Mary had a little lamb)
We are going in the car.
You will sit\
in your seat
We are going in the car.
We are going to day care. ( or wherever).

Some children respond to puppets.

Some ideas which work with autistic children might
help your DS. 
Your DS may not be autistic, but it sounds like there are
some similarities.  Check out these websites -- see if anything rings a bell.
Google for more websites about speech and social delays.

http://www.soundtherapysystems.com/

http://www.playproject.org/

http://sites.google.com/site/autismgames/

http://autism.about.com/b/2011/04/25/play-with-your-autistic-child-more-easily-said-than-done.htm

http://www.childrensucceed.com/  (This one is for older children)

I really think that there might be something in these websites,

Let me know if you find anything helpful. 

All the best,

Skippy

[fabangel]

Lovely thanks, Skippy. 
I will have a closer look when the kids are being less of a handful.  It already looks good.  Many many thanks
xx

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