Too many languages?

[maweri]

Hi everyone,

in february my first child will be born. I've allready read much about early reading... my sister has allready toddlers and I'm very interested in this topic. Of course I want to use LR myself. My mothertongue is german. Apart from that me and my boyfriend want to speak in English to the baby. My parents-in-law and grandparents-in-law can speak Russian fluently and perfectly (my boyfriend was never ment to learn it), so I could convince my boyfriend that the baby could learn Russian as well.
I told him much about early reading and early maths. At first he was absolutly against it, same with the languages, but I could convince him with that, too.
As I read in this forum and as I got to know, that isn't the horizon. We have many Spanish speaking friends and I have learned it one semester and we live 20km far from France and I can speak french very well, too. My boyfriend is still absolutly against too many languages, he thinks it isn't useful, it can harm and the child can't learn anything new in school.
He always say, that I'm far too optimistic and that I shouldn't have too many expactations, I should stay realistic. But I know that children can learn so much... and even if the languages he is exposed to don't become his perfectly spoken mother tongue, it doesn't harm and maybe is good for his brain, things like that.
But how can I calm him? What can I give him to read? Books, websites?
Are many languages really don't harmful? Sure?
Are there any negative sideeffects?

Thanks for your replies,
maweri

[nic31600]

Yep, sounds exactly like my husband who is against EVERYTHING but exposing our daughter to violent/foul language TV shows and video games. 3 years later, he is still against it although he has seen some great results in our daughter, he still lacks interest in anything EL.

Honestly, it's not hindering the child in anyway. Like experts say, children's brains are like sponges and if they don't learn now, you may regret it later. It's easier for children to absorb all this new information. They can learn as many as 4 languages at a time, if not more. It's normal for children to mix languages at first but once they establish their roles, it get's easier. This makes parents panic as well.

The worse thing to do is read up about this on the internet. The internet will always give you misleading information and each expert doesn't always agree on the same topics and will cause further confusion. There will be some information out there that will give him more reasons to doubt it.The key is to never give up hope that he will believe in you one day. It's what I hope in my husband.

Speaking from experience, I grew up in a multilingual family and I've turned out alright, well, I think so any way. I grew up around 5 languages and I've never been confused nor has it had any negative affect on my academic performance. Apparently being at least bilingual makes you ahead academically compared to your monolingual peers, so I've read. The worse it could do possibly is have the child language delayed but my daughter has proven that this is not always the case (?)

My daughter (3) isn't formally learning any language at the moment but I speak to her in 4 languages (mostly in 2) and my husband in 2 but mostly in his native language. She is very bright and has a large vocabulary compared to her monolingual peers. She is very sociable and has a strong personality.

She switches languages depending on the speaker, since aged 2, but she seems to talk to my mother in French even though she knows she only speaks to her in English. She has sometimes mixed languages in a word like 'what' (English) and 'quoi' (what in French) she was about to say quoi to me but she realised I speak to her in English and she said 'quat' instead. I thought that was funny.

I'm sure he will come around one day but it's better to have this settled before the baby is born because it's better to start from birth, IMO.

[shadahfree]

When we lived in Germany early learning was very much frowned upon. They thought it would damage my child to play with Leap Frog toys. They said my child didn't need to learn ABC's until first grade. Is it a cultural thing and not just your boyfriend?

[maweri]

Oh yes, it's highly cultural, too. "What your child knows the ABC befor 7 years old?" (Many children don't go to real school befor 7 years old).
When I first read about preschools and kindergarten here in the forum I was very suprised that children learn counting and the alphabet there. Our "Kindergarten" (it's a german word) goes form 3 to 6 (for everybody who doesn't know) and we do exactly nothing except playing and sometimes some papercraft.
There was a study around European countries called PISA and Germany didn't recieve a good position, the 15 year old pupils couldn't read and understand basic texts. And everybody here is wondering why...
Another big concern of my boyfriend is: "When the baby can read and count before school, what can he learn in school. He/She will become an outsider." My reply: "Shall I hold her/him dumb, just because school wants to teach basic things that late?"
I would never tell anybody else about my plans of EL...
Are you german? Where do you live now?

[shadahfree]

We lived there three years. I can speak German and use it as our main language. We are back in the U.S. now. Given the choice, we would live there. I loved the way of life. The kndergartens near us were similar to many daycares here, but the schools seemed advanced compared to here. The parents were more involved and expected more of their children than the "typical" American.

[Mandabplus3]

Apparently kids can handle 9 languages at a time!
Some ideas to consider
Mum always speaks in one language, dad always speaks in a different language. Nana, poppy and the daycare teacher speak in their own languages. Your child will associate each language to each person. This is supposed to aide in their learning as well as ensure an appropriate amount of exposure. Once the first few are well under way add in any other languages you wish to teach. Perhaps by changing the language You use for half the week. Any languages you are week in speaking or getting exposure on can be supplemented with DVDS and music.
Good luck, I am quite jealous. I only speak one language, my kids and I are learning two more together slowly.

[Korrale4kq]

Shadahfree,

kindergarten in the US is older. A child needs to be 5 or 6. My son will be almost 6 when he is of kindergarten age. Kindergarteners sit at desks and have assigned homework in many schools now.

Preschool is for 3-6. And many but not all do teach counting, shapes, letters, numbers. But it is still very play based. Daycare is 6 weeks to 6 years. And is even more so play based and though some have academics it is not all.

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