Why multiple languages?

[Vidyut]

Hi,

I've been mostly reading around here (tough to type with baby in lap). This is an excerpt from an article I wrote on my blog. I think it may be of interest here. If you would like to read the whole thing, its not immediately relevant to this question, but you can find it here: http://www.nisargak.com/proud-mama/how-much-teaching-is-too-much/
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I've noticed that there is a lot of attention paid to teaching babies second and third languages, etc. It makes sense if you speak those. For example, English, Marathi, Hindi and Kannada are spoken in our home, so baby will eventually end up understanding and communicating in them all. Or I can understand a family not speaking English at home making efforts to speak it around their child and supplementing it with lessons or other exposure. But why would I make such huge efforts to teach a language I don't even know myself? What's the point? How is it functional for communication?

The way I imagine things panning out is that as long as I can sustain exposure to the sources of the alien language, the baby will acclimatize to it. Once he is older and the exposure stops or fades when other more relevant and immediate learning and time needs come in, the "use it or lose it" will happen anyway. I don't think that teaching for the first couple of years a language the child doesn't get anything done from using (considering how daily contact is not in it, making it dysfunctional for communication most of the time) is going to keep the language alive in his mind for life. So then why?

Also, I'm looking at the impact of our overambition on our children. Whether we make it play or not, it is a constant bombardment of stimulation. If I have to expose my child to language, maths, sign language, creative activities, physical play, ..... when is the time to stand and stare?

I'm a very laid back person and do a huge amount of stuff naturally with my child. But I get the jitters thinking of exposing a child to a "learning environment", labeling it fun and making him accept all these alien things. And I hate the word exposing - you expose objects. People should have the respect of being offered a choice - you introduce, suggest.... Give respect, get respect. Youd child is learning more from how you are with him than he is from what you do with him.

But then, my idea of parenting is very attachment not only in the advertised manner, but emotionally too. I am perfectly okay with the baby clinging to me all the time, not being friendly with new people he meets, developing in his initial years with constants shared with his most trusted people. I find it a strange world where we make our kids independent when they are dependent; outgoing when instinct directs clinging and then when they are exerting their independence as they grow up (teens onwards), we wish they would be closer to us. Plain unnatural. Ever heard of a baby needing to be taught to want closeness and safety of its mother/other close people? It is the "teaching to be social" and forced entry to the unfamiliar that breaks those bonds before they are ready to stretch. Once the child is vulnerable in a new situation and grows up fast to cope, what do they need the emotional side of their parent for?

You objectify the child, and the child slowly starts seeing you as a facility rather than person.

I'm aware a lot of my personal value judgments influence how I see this issue, but I find it remarkably like training a circus lion to jump through a flaming loop. Sure, a good trainer will make it fun, but a child needs to absorb the familarity of the "trusted" and the okayness of shying away from the "other" to be emotionally anchored in his own self-worth.
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I don't know if it makes sense out of context (or even in context for that matter)

[Vidyut]

What I'm curious about is where do you as a parent draw the line? How much is too much?

How do we manage our desires and dreams with respect for the individuality of our child?

[patreiche]

I think it is important to spend quality time with the child and what better way to teach them what they need to survive in the world. Each parent has a different idea of what is important. Children at this age are like sponges so giving them exposure to a wide variety of topics is important. I think children will focus on what you think is important whether it be religion, reading, foreign language, music or math. I don't think spending quality time teaching your child any useful tool is a waste of time. Not teaching them anything is a waste of time, since they learn so much at this age. But I do think the child should be shown a variety of things.

[Nikita]

In my case I plan to homeschool, and concentrate on languages in my curriculum. I hope that if I present stuff now, early, that it will be accepted as normal, and I can build upon it. Yes I'm one of the multiple languages people you think might be pressurizing their kids. I personally will learn those languages myself at the same time,and I am really looking forward to that. Most languages will be a rudimentary knowledge...just the basics. The major ones will be studied in depth. I wont force any language that they dont want to learn...perhaps they might find the ones with strange characters, symbols or squiggles too hard.
As for suggesting ideas to a baby...they're too young to know what's good for them. They wont know that that's the best time to learn maths, reading etc...they havent read up on the benefits of early learning.

[[email protected]]

hi Vidyut

In fact I also at times, think on same lines.


>where do you as a parent draw the line? How much is too much?
Yes I also wonder the same

> "use it or lose it"
Indeed I am also worried and wonder if I should only teach the languages I am comfortable with (3 of them)

Having said all the above, a part of me still wants to expose the baby to more foreign languages   

[Vidyut]

Patreiche,

I agree that it is important to spend quality time with a child. In fact, I think its important to spend all kinds of time with a child. Not just quality. It also depends on what we call quality.

If an active focus of the child's upbringing is values of freedom and respect, there needs to be adequate time for the two of you to be together where he gets to call the shots. If it is a priority, then a majority of the time needs to be like that. Perhaps, I'm assuming this priority, and its fair enough to have a greater priority for setting the stage for success in life. For me, it is difficult to predict what skills he is going to need, and my focus for creating an attitude for a "successful life" is lemons from lemonade. Those lemons may be languages, or dance, or painting..... he gets to choose them based on what he feels attracted to.

This is quite different from doing math with him. The key being "doing it with him". For me, this falls under spending all kinds of time with him. I can't do French and dance with him with that same intensity, so it goes in the other - he gets to initiate if he feels curious. If we miss windows, so be it.

I guess I prioritize skill acquiring based on how definitely or maybe it will be used in his life. I may teach my child French, and he may never want to use it. However, he is likely to want freedom and respect all his life. So setting the foundation for that, at the cost of many other things is important for me. I certainly didn't imply that not teaching them anything was the way to go about doing things. After all, we're guiding them into the world. I just meant keeping it to necessity, and spending the rest on priority one - emotional security, emotional intelligence.

I agree completely that children are like sponges. What I'm saying is that do I use it to mop every colourful spill I find till its too soggy to attract that drink it would like, or do I soak it with the bare minimum liquid that needs to be soaked, and then leave it to the sponge to choose, or for the liquids to be attracted to it.

Hi Nikita,

What coincidence! I'm planning to homeschool too! AND my focus is similar - communication! Though I guess its easier for me, since him saying no is communication too..... win-win Though I don't agree about them being too young to know. In my experience, I never was too young to know what was good for me. It was the grown ups that kept meddling That's why, in fact we will be homeschooling. For both of us to escape the prescriptions and experience what works for us and what doesn't. Though I can understand your eagerness to introduce different languages to him.

These guys learn damn fast though, I don't know how you are going to leanr "with" them.... My friend's son mixes them all up perfectly. I speak very little German, so she wanted me to talk with him in German. I said something. He didn't understand. Quite likely that I said it wrong too. WHat floored me was that he came back with "Repeaten Sie Bitte!" He conjugated "repeat" German style and just went on! 

His mother immediately corrected him, but I was honestly impressed. That's plain ingenious. A pity that his mother walled his creativity... but then I guess knowing the right word was important too. You're going to need to study hard to keep up with them!

Lee, I so connect with wanting so much for them! Everything.... and more... bring it on. I wish childhood was longer, or that the day had 48 hours when the going is good, or I'm ready for him to grow up already

[saniso]

Just sharing my experience regarding this topic, When I learned about specific Doman learning methods, my DD was already 13-14 months old so initially I was too upset with myself and charted this whole agenda about things I would like to work with her in regards to reading/math/Ek /language . ( we already did ASL and other developmental activities) . It was easy to get carried away with my list and I had to draw the line or rather prioritize what I would like to start with her and then she gave me the leads especially on EK topics.
That being said , regards languages, We too speak Marathi at home and English at work . So it was obvious that she will be exposed to  both language. As a third language my immediate thought was French, as I llike how the language sounds and know it just a bit but reverted to Spanish as it would be more functional for her  and that is a language I amtrying to learn too. Reason for learning third language: ease of communication with native spanish speakers and hope that this experience will makeit easier for DD to learn other language if she chooses it.

[Skylark]

In our greater family we speak quite a few languages. Since later on we might or might not live in some of those countries or live again together with others from our family, we would want to teach our daughter these languages, so it would not be difficult for her later in life and will come more naturally when the time is right.  Right now she is exposed to 4 languages. From personal experience of my husband, who grew up in multilingual environment, it is not confusing but rather beneficial to expose children to many languages early in life, I agree with that...

[Questers]

I am very sure all those who are teaching second and third languages would be teaching only what is/what they think will be essential for their child. Languages are learnt easily before the age of 5. For eg: If an adult tries to learn a language along with a 5-year-old child, you can see that the child will pick it up more easily than the adult. Language capabilities are at its best in these early years. So perhaps later on, when the time comes for them to go to a particular country, their early exposure could help. Of course, they would have to continually keep in touch with whatever language was taught to them during these early years. Any learning for that matter enhances memory, be it reading/EK/or language.

[Vidyut]

True, and I guess, if it is truly fun, and not an "agenda", it would be like any other play.....

My concern is more with the ambitious side of things... where the outcome is important and there is subtle but constant pressure to learn.... or worse, being constantly stimulated being the only way the child knows to be.... and more importantly, a child getting some time (that is needed) to be bored - with utterly no direction/prescription from the outside world - to enhance creativity and constructive initiative or simply absorb all the inputs and see what is being created within him.

[NadiaD]

I think as parents we are just trying to do what in our opinion will benefit our child!   And pray and hope that when they will grow up they will be happy with the choices that we've made for them! So I can't tell you were to draw the line, you child when he'll grow up will tell you that. He might tell you that you did the right thing, or he might be blaming you that you didn't expose him to different things....
So the discussion : " Why multiple languages?" will never lead us anywhere, since I will stay with my opinion, that my baby needs them, no matter what you're saying. And you will stay with your opinion that you don't think it is necessary for the baby to have opportunity to be learning more languages, or different languages that the parents speak.
And the ambition,... may be your child will tell you that he would want you to be more ambitios about his future, on the other hand he might be really happy about your choice! You will find out when he'll grow up!

[Vidyut]

True. And what he is likely to need in the future is anyone's guess. No matter what we do, we will end up having done some things 'right', and others 'wrong'.

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