about to give up teaching my son to read!!!help

[liz79]

i think im about to give up on my effort of teaching my son to read...
i started created the flash card like written in doman's book....in april...
i tried to show to my son in May...
i show him once or twice only the words...
it took me abt 3 months to finish up the first 15 words...
im helpless...there are so many things to do at home when i come back from work...
i was suffering my severe gasterictic too...
my mom is taking care of my son when im away for work...
she was ill for sometime last month...i had send my son for babysitting for abt 2 weeks..
in that duration i had no chance to teach him...

on 7th july i started with the another set of 5 words.. but till now(today is 23rd july)i havent finish with the words
ive shown him only abt 10 times...another 5 times will take a month i think...
my son was sick on sunday...high fever..i didnt continue at all with card

sigh...i felt so angry with myself for not able to give early education for my son...
i feel like giving up....  


it's not that im complaining of my life..
i know out there ppl are suffering more...
hope anyone can help me...

when i saw YBCR cd by dr.trizer, i was surprise the flash card tht he showed to his daughter, it was not flash card, it's flash paper-bcoz it looked so soft n thin...
and i felt so regret for spending more time creating the card rather than emphasizing on the teaching my son

[Joha]

liz79,

I can totally understand how you can feel overwhelmed. My best friend works full time too and as much as she wants to do it, it is hard because she doesn't have the time or the energy when she comes back from work. We discussed different option for her from YBCR, Doman's flash cards, LR and LM. Our conclusion was that her best option were LR and LM because the curriculum. You really don't need to do much preparation, just turn on your computer, start LR and voila! You can start teaching. I know if a huge investment, but just think about the time you have invested and the frustration you are feeling. The other think with LR and LM is that people constantly are uploading new files that you can show your baby. If these program are completely out of your budget, I would recommend buying Doman's kits. I got the math one and we absolutely love it! I regretted not getting the reading kit, but I got LR. This basic kits are only $50, that after material, prep time and printing is a good price (However, I have never seen it, I'm going based on the quality of the math cards).

Keep it up! Don't quit because based on your message I can tell you will feel terrible for quitting. Just do as much as you can. There are people here that have the time, the resources and the organization skills to do a lot more, but each of us do what we can and doing some is definitely better that doing nothing.

One more thing, life comes in the way sometimes, so don't stress about it. I wanted to do this everyday religiously, but there are things that happen in life that you need to take care off. So I try to be consistented, but if one day I only have time to do the first part of the course, I don't kill mylsef over it, I just do the other half the next day. We had to take a break from math flash cards for two weeks (becuase my daughter wasn;t into it) it was ok, was we started again she was totally into it.

Always come here for support. This is what this forum is for, to help each other in this wonderful and bumpy journey!

I'm sure you will find the answer for you and will do great! 

Karma to you for being honest and looking for help! 

[Twinergy]

My twins are about 2 months older than you DS and this is the time they really start taking off intellectually.  According to Timothy Kailing’s Native Reading theory http://www.nativereading.com/introduction.html  children develop an interest in reading between 18 mo and 3 years of age so this is a great time to start exposing them to reading.  All the early reading programs have two things in common; font large enough for babies to see and some method of drawing the babies’ attention to the words.  We have tried many different methods here, and I have found books with large font the most enjoyable and easiest to do.  I run my finger under the words as I am reading, now my DD runs her finger under words too.  My DS is more active and just recently settled down enough to sit on my lap and look at books.  He is more interested in the pictures now, but I still point out the words.  When it is his time to read he will let me know and things will go from there.  I think what is really important is for everybody to have fun. 

I find most of my books used at garage sales and off craigslist.org.  I usually pick up a large lot of books and pay about 50 cents or less per book.  Some of our favorite books have been Eric Hill’s Spot series which tend to have large print and a single word per page, Saundra Boynton’s books are great rhyming stories with large print, and some of the Rodger Priddy books.

[Kyles Mom]

liz79, you are working mom, meaning i take double my work as I am a stay at home mom, but i feel frustrated at times too, worse is that i couldn't get routine on LM before he reached 30 months....it drive me crazy thinking about it....cos i am not a teacher as i believe and i really do not believe in schooling working for better over homeschooling.

so here i am struggling to teach while he actually don't understand English and I don't get local language good stuff so I teach English slides translating them for him when there are sentences, English words (of which he knows a lot now...but could do loads better if I can give time and effort) and a few Arabic and on and off local dull books!

but liz, its amazing to know that ur effort really counts at the end,  cos like the Arabic and Dhivehi languages which I hardly get to teach, he do recognize and even know the phonics of somethings....that's not cos i am consistent i tell you, rather its all cos i try i am blessed by Allah for this trying!

so no don't give up....yes u will feel frustrated all the time throughout, but its worth the price of seeing them succeed at the end... everything thing has a price to pay and teaching is huge load of work, LR do lighten up the load more than 4x I can say but still, even that takes time for u to download, and run and even pick up the words for each day even....sometimes i get frustrated to do all those tiny things too, BUT when I see my son enjoying my pic, it makes the day...when i hear my son say the words, it delights me....and for me the best things about LR so far is the fact my son's got an accent when reading English which I never have!

liz, try and try again and though it is once everyday, do try to show him....and with LR u can just show it n then while he watches do ur chores too! and by the way, one pointer i can give is choose things that interests him that is blended with other things, so as to keep his interest tuned!

[Autumn]

Twinergy said it.....it is a wonderful and bumpy ride! You have already started this awesome journey!  Now all you've got to do is take our advice and believe no matter what you can do this! You are definately not alone!!! 


You only have this "window of opportunity" once in your child's life! Take advantage, and a deep breath and have fun teaching your precious baby!

This group is like one big family! We all support each other and give one another the encouragement to keep on going!

 Autumn 

P.S. Sometimes it helps to teach at the same time everyday if you don't have tons of time on your hands. Say for instance, if you get home at 5pm then you could make it a goal to teach ( for example reading 3 x's )  say from
5:30 -6:30pm. Then you'll have a little routine and consistancy. And it'll feel so good once you've done it and you'll look forward to the next session!

I know for my two girls it is much easier to have our meal times used as teaching times too.(for flashing cards and foreign language cd's) Then it gets done!


Hope this helps some!

[linzy]

Liz, what I did when my son was your son's exact age was start showing him the words while he sat on the toilet. We always brought him to the toilet after meals, before bed, first thing when he woke up and then usually every few hours in between.  He used the adult toilet with a little converter seat on top.  So in essence he was captive, because he couldn't hop off.  I just kept the words in the bathroom and while he sat there trying to use the toilet I would flash all our words/ numbers/ EK.  This worked great and kept me in a routine and the words got done many times a day.

[Xica]

Liz79,
There was a time, I was feeling so overwhelmed trying to do everything right for my baby that I was getting frustrated, tired and sometimes a little bit bitter because I couldn't do it. So a friend told me that the most important thing my baby needed was a happy mom and that I needed to pick my battles. Lets say for example you don't have enough time to prepare your material, well buy them o get them on internet for free. For example, if you can't afford at this moment YBCR or LR or Doman's material(which I recommend them because they save you time and time is gold) you can go to target and get a set of sight cards on the one dollar section for 1$!. Also, you can label your house, go to monkisee.com and print the free labels and stick them all over your house so when you are walking around the house with your baby you can read to him and teach him the names of the objects, rooms, etc.
Getting healthier is more important, so take care of your self and your baby first and don't feel bad that you couldn't teach him to read at that moment all of us go through moments in our lives that we need to stop because of one reason or another. Enjoy being a mom and having a healthy and beautiful son.
Good Luck!!!
p.s.: I know we read in this website about what other amazing moms (granmas,dads) are doing with their kids and how much their kids are learning and sometimes I wish I could do all the programs they are doing or for ex. my daughter loving LM like their kids but I have to pick my battles and do the best I can. This website is great to get tips, advices, ideas.

[floong]

Liz,

I want to give a bit of encouragement to you also. I agree with the others that you have been a great Mom and have started off the teaching. It is a matter of keeping it going and that needs perseverance and patience. I fully understand your frustration as I work long hours too.
I would like to share some tips that I experienced in teaching my daughter:
Try to do it in the same environment and around the same time. I take my daughter to the computer and show her LR for around 5 mins before going to work and after work. She now claps whenever I bring her in front of the computer and waves goodbye to the computer when we finish the LR session. It is an enjoyable experience.
Give lots of encouragement and praises during the session and try to reinforce their memory in daily encounters.
Make it into a game. Although we use LR mostly, I still keep some printed paper cards and keep them in a box and hide it. From time to time, my daughter would seek and pull out the box and I flash a few cards to her to keep her happy.
It takes some time to get into the habit but babies like regular routines. Keep going!

[purplefungi]

Don't give up. The most important thing is to maintain consistency throughout and to remember that it may take a long time to see results.

[momtomany]

Lots of great advice here!  I also feel overwhelmed when I'm trying to start something new and it's hard to stick with at first.  I have learned that to succeed, it's always a good idea to establish a regular routine of it... same time everyday.... attaching it to something else you already do routinely is best.  For example, if your little one is still sitting in a highchair for meal times (he has dinner EVERYday without fail probably, right?), then that would be an opportune time to show him some flashcards.  Maybe same with the breakfast time.  I've read of lots of working Moms on this forum though who've had success with only the one session per day because that is all they could manage.  When I gave my first attempt with Doman (which also didn't really get off the ground a couple of years ago) I made a mistake of looking for some proof that he was learning something and I was testing him and (predictably!) he didn't like our sessions at all.  (Much regretful feeling like you).

Doman says that doing even a little bit consistently is better than trying to do more than you can 'hit and miss'.

Also he says "Success breeds motivation".... meaning it is hard to stick to something new until you see that first glimmer of success happening.  And your little guy is old enough now that he will start showing you what he learns sooner than someone who is working with an infant, who has to wait many months perhaps before the baby starts to be able to show what he knows.  That first time you will see that your little guy has learned something, you will then be so excited and you will feel very much motivation then to continue and then you will really fly with it.  Just keep trying because if you don't keep trying I think you will regret it.  If you keep trying and you still don't succeed with it, at least you will always know that you kept trying.

Early learning gives them a wonderful advantage in life, but remember that it's the unconditional love you give your child that will make them into a happy person with successful relationships when they grow up... that is really the ultimate goal of course.  So never feel badly that you haven't been successful with Doman in his younger age... you have been loving him and looking after him all this time and that is the thing that will make the most difference to his life really.

Start with some really small goal.... 1 set per day.... that takes only a few seconds of course.  Maybe have a big checklist on the fridge where you make a checkmark every day that you show your one set.  Checklists are a great tool..... you see your accomplishment visually and also there is the accountability factor that your spouse or nanny or any other adult in the home will see it too.

Well, best wishes for success and happy, fun times together for you and your little boy.  This is such a great forum, eh?



By the way, I find purplefungi's website videos "Doman in the Raw" very inspirational.... I'm looking forward to more of them.  She's a working Mom too I think.  I've noticed that the boys are always sitting in the same spot with a nice little chair or carseat, and the older one has a nice little snack too there.  Anyways, if you haven't looked at them yet I think you'd enjoy them too... nice to visualize 'what to do'.  Everything 'routine' that I've gotten my kids to do (new bedtime routine, go to sleep without Mommy there, use the toilet)... it all takes a little patience at first, but when you are consistent then very soon they are used to that new routine and they just accept it then as 'the way we do it'.  Then it becomes easy again.... creatures of habit they are...

[JenniferJoy]

If you'd like to P.M. me your address (and your in the U.S. where shipping is cheap.) I'll mail you an hour long word flash DVD, I made.  I have my 2 year old fall asleep watching it. 

It's hard core Doman, but it's easy and improves his odds.
JJ

[cp]

Firstly, karma to Jennifer for such a generous gesture. 

And hi liz79, I’ve read from another post that you are from M’sia.  There are DVD flashcards for sale too.  I’ve just bought a set of 2 DVD Chinese Flashcards 2 days ago as I run out of Simplified Chinese files with pictures (my DD refuse to see anything without pictures) to download here.  I’ve not gone through the whole DVD but from the first few lessons, it is not quite GD method as the words are below the pictures (as opposed word first then pictures).  But I’m desperate enough to use anything as I’ve not been showing my DD much new material on Simplified Chinese for a while.  This is the link for it http://www.babybrainflashcards.com/.  I bought mine at RM30 (normal price RM40) from Popular Book Store during their current promotion.  Maybe you want to check it out.  There is also an English version which I did not get as I’m not done with LR English curriculum yet.  Hope this helps.

[Autumn]

Karma to you JenniferJoy!!! 

Hang in there Liz79!  We are ALL on your side!!!




PS>  One thing I've done to take the pressure off is to use materials that are no brainers! Then it's easy to incorperate it into our already busy and bumpy days. I knew that for me personally I'd never be able to teach foriegn languages "all Doman's way". So I just play foreign language cd's at meal times. I don't really show cards too much with it. Just use the easiest things for you, that makes a huge difference.    Because really, like the reading, it's all about the exposure!  Even if it's not a lot, it's better than none. I found my French Language Kit used for $4.99. So don't think you have to buy new materials....used are great too.  Check craigslist, yard sales, dollar stores and even the goodwill.    Also use a checklist and mark off things as you accomplish them...even if it's just one thing! It'll motivate you more. I promise!!!

I also like using a dry erase board  ( very large ones are sold at Home Depot for $13.00....it's called Tile Board,  many teachers use it.....just ask and they'll cut it for you)  and a Magna Doodle is an easy way to show the words for the reading. Let him erase it, then let him use the board when you're thru.  Just keep it in your kitchen or bathroom for your convenience and voila!

Bigs hugs of encouragement!!!! 

Hope this helps some.

Sincerely,
Autumn

[Tiger Lily]

I disagree with everyone here.  I think you should stop the program and focus on

1. you and your families health
2. you and your families happiness.

If you are stressed and rushing the program it is not worth it and your son will not benefit.

Just read to him, point out animals and facts when you are on a walk.  Talk to him and provide him with information.  When he has a bath, make words from letters. 

Your son and yourself will be much better off emotionally and intellectually if he has a mum who shows him that
*learning is fun, not laboured,
*learning is everywhere, not on a flash card
*learning is all the time, not between 5 - 7pm each night

I too, had big ideas about teaching my daughter from an early age.  There were many health issues from her and myself.  The cards went out the window and we just began exploring the world together from a fun perspective.  She has picked up so much more this way than I ever imagined.  She is one and almost knows all the alphabet sounds, can count and loves me reading to her.

Enjoy your child.  They are too precious to be made to read some cards we think are important.

If the time is right down the track, pick it up again.

Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

[Twinergy]

That is exactly the point I was trying to make Tiger Lily, you just said it better.

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