Early Reader, Later In Life.

[Tanikit]

What Frukc pointed out is important. If we are going to stimulate our child's intelligence we owe it to them also to stimulate them emotionally and ensure that they are emotionally ready for whatever it is we thrust at them - to understand something intellectually is not the same as to have a grasp of it on an emotional level.

The other issue that is brought up here is the concept of success - what is success? I would far rather be a happy street sweeper than be an unhappy multimillionaire (no offense to any professions intended)

There is a problem of being bored at school, however I would say that it is not only teaching children to read before school that bores them - many children who learn to read at school are also totally bored there - and this has to do not only with the speed at which material is presented but the way it is presented and the content of the lessons. If my child is not homeschooled I will hope that she gets a few very good teachers. If not she will have to learn how to cope with boredom and find other ways to amuse herself in a boring situation - this in itself is good for real life (have you ever waited at an airport for hours - what did you do?) I think being bored stimulates imagination too as you can day dream class away - as long as they know the work eventually it is not so important to pay attention 100% of the time)

[Frukc]

Hi Tanikit,

Concerning success, I think it is something like this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs


I think, boring is not a problem. When I was bored I entertained myself with writing small poems. Laziness might be a problem.

But everyone here talks only about the school. Like the life ends with the last exam.
Early readers are very good at school - because learning is what they have learned to do. After school, they need another features. Ability to make decisions, to take responsibility, initiative, to to confess mistakes etc. Do you teach your children for that?

I think, early eduaction comes with several risks.

1. Extended attachment. Close attachment with mother is necessary in early years but later people need to separate emotionally. Othervice your child will be dependent on you, without iniciative and without creativity.
Extended attachment may result in alkohol dependance etc.
Avoiding socialization, homeschooling can create this risk.
Imagine family where 40 year old son is living on pension of his 70 year old mother, drinking, beating her. Early readers are among them.

I don't say that it will happen but we must take it in account.


2. Many mothers here are expecting that their children will be the best at school. It seems that their expectations and plans end with the show where their children are better than others.
Sometimes some mothers feel a temptation to show to others how bright is their child. If they do it too often, the child
- feels te expectations which he/she can not fulfill;
- is upset when after some years he is as clever as other children are;
- is being demonstrated to others like an ape at circus.

I know several families where one of several children is early reader and he is also the looser of the family. Probably, because wrong activities of mother.

I don't say that it will happen but we must keep these things in mind.

[Kyles Mom]

I have a friend, whose wife is a teacher and he is a counselor and a director in government field, when they got their first kid they were young and learnin but their 2nd kid was so stimulated when she entered school they had to calm her down, which made me fully decide on the fact that I will never educate my kids from school.
I always believe that parents train their kids, and believe that it is very important to open their mind to the world around them
Where I live it is poor parenting not to pat and cuddle their baby when they fall, I believed otherwise, i believe my cuddling make him weaker, and I thank Allah, for Kyle do not cry whenever he falls unless he has a real injury like a good bump! the other day he had a cut with blood when I clothed him for bed, dont have any idea where he got it from!
Anyway to the reading issue, if we can open their mind to read at young age, they would utilise time with readng than the tv watching which itself is reason enough for me. Also like all research shows it helps their brain to open more and gather more from their surroundings, if the brain is active it definitely will show up in all aspects of life.

[KL]

In response to some of the things mentioned in this thread, I would say the following:

1. Do not push your child, esp at very young ages. We want to foster the love the reading, not kill it.  Also, treat it as a time for bonding, and don't attach yourself to results. That way, learning time is always joyful.

2. Yes, there is a possibility that advanced kids feel bored in school, and that ends up killing their interest of learning.  But like what was mentioned in the Myths article I linked to before, what would you have us do? Dumb down our kids so that they can fit in, and therefore remove this risk?? I believe that what is more PROBABLE is this scenario: The child finds school to be easy, relaxing, and has time to play hard instead of slaving away at learning things that others find difficult. School would be associated not with pain and difficulty, but with ease and pride. Self-confidence would be higher, and teachers may even like them more and even treat them as their pet favorite.
Of course, I'm not saying that that scenario will necessarily happen, but I find that more likely than the other possibility.

3. As mentioned in our articles, it seems that generally speaking at least, kids who start ahead, stay ahead.

4. Absolutely agreed that life, and our teaching role as parents, involves MUCH MUCH MORE than just academia.  A child can be the brightest and most educated person in the world and yet be a 'failure' by conventional standards.  But like so many other things, it's not an EITHER/OR situation - we should always have a good balance, and not focus just on one area and neglect the others.

[Tanikit]

4. Absolutely agreed that life, and our teaching role as parents, involves MUCH MUCH MORE than just academia.  A child can be the brightest and most educated person in the world and yet be a 'failure' by conventional standards.  But like so many other things, it's not an EITHER/OR situation - we should always have a good balance, and not focus just on one area and neglect the others.

Definitely agree with this!

What I find so amazing is that parents are encouraged to teach their children shapes, colours and all sorts of other things but not reading. No one is discouraged to give their child an enormous vocabulary before they go to school - perhaps we should all speak only in baby language to them in case they are bored by the teachers limited vocabulary in grade one or by their friends who don't know the number of words they know?

Reading does open doors and is very powerful, but it also gives children the opportunity NOT to be bored - it is a quiet activity that they can do when they are bored that will encompass anything and will always therefore hold their interest if they are given the right book. The problem comes if teachers do not ALLOW children to read in their spare time in class.

The attachment issue is an interesting one and I think it has Nothing to do with early reading - a child will be attached or not depending on other things - mainly the mother and child's bond and the ability for the child to mature - whether this has been hampered or not. It has absolutely nothing to do with early education.

The issue of expecting your child to be better than others is a problem. We need to remember that each child is an individual and love them for who they are and not what they achieve. Every person has value simply because they are a person - yes, we want people to reach their potential, but not reaching your potential does not take away from your inherent value.

[christinc21]

Thank you all for the responses to my original post. I was just curious to see if others had older children and how they were doing after entering school.

[neric6373]

This topic is very interesting and I have thought about it, since I, like others cannot homeschool, I would love to pursue my career, but at the same time give the education to my children and teach them apart from their public school education. I think we need to strike a balance , especially when talking about parents who send their children to public schools, Agreed, it might not do too good for them, but what about their social skills when you are teaching them at home? The world outside also teaches them a lot..we just need to be careful of being obsessed about flashing encyclopedic knowledge everytime all the time...Children need to be children too and it is right to save them from emotional problems later on. I still love my children, follow ENglish and Math and extra bits of knowledge, they go to public schools, doing very well and we are all happy..I think ultimately it's the parents who need to rethink what they need for their children. Goodluck to all of you! Great topic..

[Aguh]

I am sure that psychological aspects are 10000 times more important than encyclopedic knowledge.

Very often, happy and self-confident people are more successful than clever people.

I fully agree with you, Frukc.

In regard to Frukc comment: I highly recommenent this book:

Author: Jesper Juul
Title: Your Competent Child

Amazon link:
http://www.amazon.com/Your-Competent-Child-Toward-Values/dp/0374527903/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1240954306&sr=8-1

[staceycanada]

My older daughter (16) was reading books by the time she was 2.

She was always ahead of the other students but was never bored.

There were many things for her to research and learn about.

She is also incredibly social and would go to school just for that reason.

She still loves to read and has an incredible thrist for knowledge.

[cybermommy]

This is a very interesting thread. I am relieved to hear about so many early learners doing well socially and emotionally later in life, but not fully reassured, as I know there is some selection bias in anecdotal evidence. Naturally, when our children do well, we will be anxious to share their stories, but if our children become withdrawn, bored with school, or plant bombs, we may not be quick to advertise them on You Tube.

I suppose that even a meta-analysis of multiple multi-center trials yielding results and a conclusion with a very small probability of error would still not necessarily predict what was going to happen to one's own particular child, as each child is unique (as each parent).

I suppose the key is to listen to one's child's signals about what he/she is ready to learn and not to overstep those bounds, but also be ready when the opportunity is there.

[Curly]

My brother learned to read with flashcards, age 4. Now he is 43.
I learned with ordinary method at 5.

We both are rather talented in literature, music and nature sciences. He was more bright. He wrote poems and stories which were published. His music teachers were surprised that he can read notes all the line together, not single notes.
He did not finish the university (I did), now he works ordinary job as computer repairer.

We had rather unhappy childhood. Our parents did something like "un-attachment parenting", my mother was too sick to take care properly etc.

It would be a long story on how wrong our childhood was. I am sure that psychological aspects are 10000 times more important than encyclopedic knowledge. With my doughter, the safe attachment is the priority, and teaching is just an entertainment.

Very often, happy and self-confident people are more successful than clever people. You know, clever people make suicide sometimes.

Agree! Parents play a very important role on Children's happiness. The question looms, what and how shall we guide and nurture our kids properly so they will thrive in academically, mentally and socially if they were sent to school or homeschooled?

to Aguh, thank you for your recommendation.

[Curly]

Hi Tanikit,

Concerning success, I think it is something like this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs


I think, boring is not a problem. When I was bored I entertained myself with writing small poems. Laziness might be a problem.

But everyone here talks only about the school. Like the life ends with the last exam.
Early readers are very good at school - because learning is what they have learned to do. After school, they need another features. Ability to make decisions, to take responsibility, initiative, to to confess mistakes etc. Do you teach your children for that?

I think, early eduaction comes with several risks.

1. Extended attachment. Close attachment with mother is necessary in early years but later people need to separate emotionally. Othervice your child will be dependent on you, without iniciative and without creativity.
Extended attachment may result in alkohol dependance etc.
Avoiding socialization, homeschooling can create this risk.
Imagine family where 40 year old son is living on pension of his 70 year old mother, drinking, beating her. Early readers are among them.

I don't say that it will happen but we must take it in account.


2. Many mothers here are expecting that their children will be the best at school. It seems that their expectations and plans end with the show where their children are better than others.
Sometimes some mothers feel a temptation to show to others how bright is their child. If they do it too often, the child
- feels te expectations which he/she can not fulfill;
- is upset when after some years he is as clever as other children are;
- is being demonstrated to others like an ape at circus.

I know several families where one of several children is early reader and he is also the looser of the family. Probably, because wrong activities of mother.

I don't say that it will happen but we must keep these things in mind.

/nod

[Frukc]

Now I know that early learning itself does not cause unhappy personality.
This is a side effect which can happen with unhappy parents and badly instructed parents.


It is very good that currently there are several active discussions on psychology.
I think, it would be very good to have a special board in this forum where to discuss psychological aspects only.
Probably there are psychologists and teachers which can share their experience. 


I have read ~ 1 m3 of books about the parenting and child psychology and I have attended courses on children emotional parenting. But I still have to learn and think because early teaching is a very particular case.

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