my daughter won't read!

[sophisty]

Hi all,

I've been doing reading programs with my daughter since she was three months old. we started with YBCR and finished it when she was around 11 months old. We started with little reader since she was 6 months old and recently I've been doing Daddudes flesch cards with her, on top of that we read books nearly every day. Because I was a working mum for the last year I havent been as consistent with her as I would like to have been, however she is exposed to some sort of reading nearly everyday. She is now 19 months and wont read anything. I know kids are all different and she will read in her own time, but I am becoming really demotivated. I try not to 'test' her but i'm wondering if any of this is helping. she is a perfectly normal child, her speech is progressing in leaps and bounds. she can communicate with me, i understand most of what she says, but she just doesnt want to read.
has anybody had this with their kids? is there something i'm doing wrong?
pls help

[TmS]

Hey,

My son started YBCR at 6 weeks and we've done a bunch of other stuff too. We knew he could read but he utterly refused to. A few times we caught him doing it when he thought weren't there watching him. If it hadn't been for that and the fact that his face was giving away that he could read (he loves gorillas so when the word gorilla came up he couldn't help but smile, little things like that were our only clues) I would have despaired that he'd never learn.


I think sometimes they understand that there is an expectation, even when you don't put it on them. They're not silly after all and the beginning of the YBCR videos very clearly show a young baby reading for her father. I'm sure they are able to work out that this is what we want from them too.

We changed tacks and started playing games with his animal figurines and word cards and the megasketcher (one of those iron filing writing slate things) when it was a game we were all playing he was far more willing to take part and we discovered he knew lots and lots of words.

Don't despair because if (and I really doubt it) she hasn't learned as much as one word, there are so many other advantages to what you have been doing. I'm sure some of the other parents on the forum could tell you what teaching to read does for the brain - learning to read is just a pro of all that.

Keep trying new methods of making reading as exciting and thrilling as it really is and she'll grow up appreciating it and being closer to you for all the time you've spent bonding with her while reading.

I hope this has helped to make you feel better. 

[hypatia]

This is funny to read as you're just describing my daughter!

Except for once or twice, she's never read anything and any form of testing (direct: Show me the word 'dog', indirect: I wonder what letter that is...) does not work.
Even as a baby, she would pick cards (when given a choice of two) following a pattern (showing the ones on the left only, or always the ones on top)
I don't know what she knows but what has changed from since she's around 13-14 m is that she enjoys learning (comes to the computer if i turn LR on, is happy to watch educational dvds, is happy to sit still for a book etc). That was not the case before.
That's what motivate me to keep translating LR files in French, and I'm starting working on Dad dude fleshcards so we can start phonics.

Also, thanks to the Right Brain people (Tweedle Wink) i believe children absorb a lot without participating or following closely. I've been teaching an grown-up to read for about three month, so two or three times a week she hears us talking about phonics and she often repeats what's being said while plahing in the background.
Eventually, hearing those phonics rules will help her in the long run.

Oh, one thing which has changed a lot in the last months is that we do a little but everyday, and that we don't focus on reading entirely. I try to improve other aspect of her development such as fine motor skills and focus on her diet. There's definitely something preventing some kids to shout words when they see them on the screen or point to every picture on a book telling us it's a hen or whatever.

Eventually it will all come together and she won't need to hold back and start showing me!
(but yes you do wonder at time why little kiddos can sight read dozens of words in a row while yours just keeps quiet :-)

[ShenLi]

Sophisty - you've done a terrific job, keep it up!  It is frustrating when you don't "see" any results and it is easy to want to give up, but don't!  When (and I say "when" because it is only a matter of time) your daughter decides to show you what she has learned, you will be so glad you didn't stop doing what you have done. 

When my older son was little, I started teaching him to sign.  After months went by with no results, I gave up and stopped signing.  Several months later, he signed his first Sign even though we hadn't been signing for ages.  I really regretted stopping because imagine what else he would have learned in the months when I didn't do anything?

My older son is the same with reading.  He refuses to read but I know he can.  Sometimes they don't want to read because they want that special attention from you and if you read it for them, they get it.  I know my son can read a lot more than he lets on but from time to time, he lets me see what he can read.  For instance, we were at a restaurant one day and I asked him what he wanted to order and he said, "Duck."  I asked him how he knew they were serving duck at the restaurant and he pointed out the word on a menu which had no pictures.  That was the first time he had ever read a word for me.

When we eat dinner at home, my MIL likes to cover the dining table with newspapers which is great because from time time, my son will point out words that recognises to me.  Other times, when we're walking around in the mall, he'll point out words that he sees on shop signs.  Like the other day when we were walking past "Big Apple Donuts" and he said, "Look, it says 'big apple'.  But I don't know why it says 'big apple' because there are no apples in there."

These little snippets that they show you will delight you to no end when they happen.  It's hard to be patient but it is really worth it when they happen.

Hang in there.

[waterdreamer]

My son was the exact same way. I think its a confidence thing. Now he is 5 years old and asks me if he can take a turn reading. When it starts getting too difficult he tells me its my turn. Is he reading at a university level, no. But he is ahead of his peers and loves doing it. Thats all that matters to me that he has the skill.
I'd say keep trucking, and eventually she will bless you with the "payoff". I let my son play a lot of reading computer games like reading eggs and starfall. Since I allowed that(I use to refuse him the computer except for LR) his reading is coming along alot more. Plus I'm doing the Sidney Ledson "Block Game" and its helping his sound out works.
Like I said I have been working on and off with my son on reading since he was 2, and only now is he really showing me what he knows
Good Luck!

[2010BEBES]

I think sometimes they understand that there is an expectation, even when you don't put it on them. They're not silly after all and the beginning of the YBCR videos very clearly show a young baby reading for her father. I'm sure they are able to work out that this is what we want from them too.
..
I hope this has helped to make you feel better. 

Tms, you are right, babies do not stop surprising me how much more they know than what we suspect.

Sophisty,
Maybe you can stop all reading for a week or two. Be carefull and try not to demostrate you are worry. I know it is easy to say but not as easy to do especially since we want to test them or to CHECK if we are on the right track. Try to enjoy all the time with her doing all different activities especially if you continue working. remember that they sense much more than we realize.

[sophisty]

Thanks all for your support.
 i'm a lot calmer now, i think as parents we sometimes tend to worry a bit too much and forget about all the other important things we do. i love bonding with my child and spending time with her. she adores her books and LR. she is very willing and patient enough to allow me to read to her and i can tell she is having fun. i guess its just a matter of time before she feels confident enough to start sounding out the words.

[TmS]

Glad to hear you're feeling better. Keep it up

[Niniedney]

Our LOs truly are amazing little people! I am having a similar problem with my almost 3 yr old. We've only been working on reading for less than a year but she knows many sight words, all her letters, and phonics. But she won't put the letters together to make a word. She sounds out each letter then that's it. I just keep trying to come up with new things. Can someone help me with the flesh cards? Where do I find them? Lol

[2010BEBES]

Niniedney,

here you have the link where they mention them:
http://forum.brillkids.com/teaching-your-child-to-read/problems-going-from-letter-sounds-to-words/msg21974/#msg21974

and daddudes quote where to find the Fleschcards:

Then of course there's http://www.mediafire.com/Fleschcards ... don't expect him to sound out the cards himself right away.  As long as he's making progress, it's OK if you are doing the sounding-out.  I don't think my boy successfully sounded out any word until we were well into the sets.  He did manage to figure out what a word was when I said something like "kkk--aaaah--ttt", and that's an important milestone.  If he can do that, he's definitely making progress.

i hope it helps.

[Agnesdecham]

I think you should probably happy for that as your daughter is still dominant with her right brain and you should fully utilize this opportunity. If you have no idea about what I was mentioning, you probably would like to take a look about tweedle wink program created by Pamela. This is the link: http://www.rightbrainkids.com/genius-child-program-ebook/

  Agnes

[trinity papa]

Reading is visual not all kids are visual learners ...... some are more auditory while others are more tactile in nature. Flash cards in this case are more suitable for sight learners ..... while singing and voicing are more for auditory learners .... those who like to touch and feely dilly then tactile would be the way to go ...... aka montessorri .... see also multiple intelligence ....

The only problem is we don't know what type of learners our kids will grow up to be, and each kid is different even in the same family tree ... i guess its the wiring at birth ...... therefore we have to use all approaches to teach them, flashing, singing, reading, music training and tactile ..... and through time you owuld know if they learn faster thru which ever approach and then you would have to go that approach to accelerate learning otherwise you'd be knocking on wood .... a very slow tedious process .... but that doesn't mean you stop flashing if they are not learning by sight because flashing could still train memory ... when would you know ..... 2 yr or 3 yrs old .... and that is alot of time to give up if you don't start on all methods ....

[TmS]

I agree with Trinity Papa about the multiple intelligences and using all senses. By teaching to all of the intelligences you can help to round out their learning methods too.

[Kates]

Reading allows a child to become motivated and excited by the possibility that they too will one day be able to read their favorite books. Motivation is a key element to success when it comes to the teaching of the alphabet. If you store up enough motivation now, there will be plenty to last while you teach your child the alphabet. You can teach many different concepts by incorporating games into the activities that you pursue with your child. It is important to remember that when you design games to play with your child that you focus on certain elements of the alphabet. Grouping, sorting, alphabet order, and similar concepts must be taught. It is also very important to ensure that you cover the concept of vowels. You may want to use the ABC Friends that you created earlier to assist you in this endeavor.
There are many fun and creative ways to teach your child the alphabet. It has been determined that learning the alphabet, as well as developing an awareness for phonics are the keys to success when it comes to successful readers.
http://www.learningchocolate.com/

[Tanikit]

My daughter is almost 3 and I have done word cards with her since she was 12 months old and have also taught her basic phonics. She can read and she can sound out words but she doesn't do it often. She can read sentences and whole books though she will not do so (she will read a page or two and then not want to do more) Nonetheless she can do it and so I do not force the issue - I try different things every now and then - sometimes getting her to read with me, sometimes I print out progressive phonics readers and just do one page with her, sometimes we bring out the old word cards and play games with them and sometimes we do phonics, sometimes we read words when out on the street. Mostly though I expect to be the "teacher" and she just listen same as she learnt to talk and I never corrected her or told her to repeat what I had said. One day she will decide she wants to read a story to herself same as she has decided she can remove her own clothes at bath time and Mom musn't help, same as she sometimes asks to put them on herself too and same as one day she will ride a bike by herself - when she wants to and not so much only when she can.

Hang in there - your child is learning and will surprise you one day. While I would love my daughter to sit down and read a whole book so I can rest or even just listen, when that happens I will miss the days I have now of circus shows being put on for me and rolling down the hills and standing on one foot - they have so much to learn, why must they keep proving they have done so?

As for sounding out words: this is actually a different skill altogether and requires a number of skills first before it happens (not always but often) -  and a lot of it has to do with what they are hearing - can a child hear rhyming words and perhaps give you a rhyming word if you ask, can they tell you what letter a word starts with and ends with? If you stop after reading a well known passage can they fill in the missing word (particularly if it is a rhyming word) and finally blending often comes well after the letters of the alphabet are known if you are teaching phonics. My DD knew her letters from 18 months but it is only in the last month or two that she has been able to blend them to sound out words by herself and that was with a fair amount of "teaching" from me.

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