Hi MandaB:)
I can't believe the kids are so old now! Glad to hear they are doing well.
This topic is one that I have put a great deal of thought into as independence in Alex is one of my largest goals for her. I can tell you some of the things I have done and plan to do. Of course, some of it will be for purposes of this thread only, as Alex is just five and your kiddos are older.
When I was brainstorming ideas on how to foster her independence, i decided that most independent actions stem from confidence. So I thought the first step would be to ensure she was confident in taking the 'babysteps', sort of a scaffolding approach to independence. I am attempting a condensed 'watch me, do it with me, do it yourself' approach... it occurred to me that even the illusion of independence would be enough for many things. So we tried an experiment:
Alex has always loved going to the dry cleaners to take daddy's shirts. Because of my wheelchair and the lack of convenient access to a ramp into the building, I used to take advantage of the very American convenience of a drive-thru dry cleaners:). However, I noticed that the place was perfect for our experiment. Alex was familiar with the place and the people, as well as the procedure for dropping off/picking up. A few other key features made the place perfect. The shop is located in a small strip where you can literally pull into a parking spots few feet from the door of the glass-fronted shop. I can see directly into the place from my van. So I phone the place and let them know Alex is coming in, and allow her to go in by herself. She takes the shirts and my debit card, marches up to the counter and relays instructions such as how many items, how much starch, etc., and picks up completed items. She brings them to the van along with the receipt for my signature and then takes it back once I have signed. She LOVES to do this, and it really opened my eyes to the possibilities. I just had to set her up for success, provide her with the experience and tools to be confident, and then make sure that given her age I could show that she was being monitored:)
I now have all sorts of errands, activities, and tasks at home we are working on. We are always looking for more! Here are a few ideas:
1. Trip/activity planning- one weekend per month we put Alex in charge of planning our day. She must research online what and where she wants to go. I help her brainstorm sometimes, but ahe is in charge of writing out our plan. She must check opening times/closing times, costs, wheelchair access, meal planning if we need a picnic and so on. We have taught her to use a map app on her IPhone (not as bad as it sounds, it was cheaper to hand down daddy's than to get her a new IPod!) so she can find the best route and plan times. She must research weather and all applicable information as well. She usually has a budget to work with, but everything must be put onto paper as a sort of proposal:) it is a lot of fun and it has given her a better understanding of planning!
2. Learning to balance her 'checkbook.' She gets an allowance, and I gave her a blank checkbook register that we do mock transactions as well as real ones so she can practice the skill.
3. Household repairs- there are so many small things that go wrong in a house that people often pay to have repaired. YouTube has any number of videos on simple repairs so when something goes wrong we put her in charge of learning how to repair it if possible. Of course, much of it she is too young to do (such as the replacement of a cracked electrical outlet the other day!) but she is old enough to seach YouTube and find videos of HOW to do it. She made a list of things we needed for the repair, then we took her to the DiY store where she located the items with us in tow. She then was in charge of directing daddy as he fixed it. As she gets older we will gradually allow her to do much more.
4. Auto maintenance- everyone should know how to perform basic auto maintenance, including oil/fluid checks, tire changes, and safety checks. We have taught Alex to check fluids and tire pressure, but also to converse with the mechanics at the shop when we take it in.
5. Meal planning and prep- my goal is to completely turn over the reigns to Alex one night per week this year. She is to plan a healthy dinner, make a shopping list for ingredients within a budget, shop, and prepare the dinner. Obviously she will be very limited by what she can currently safely cook, but we can start small. She can now make a lovely salad, and does roasted potatoes/veggies in the toaster oven. She did some vegetarian boxed cutlets with them and sliced a loaf of bread for her first dinner...of coarse, this was quite some time in practicing with me first. Your kiddos would feasibly be able to each take a day and cook! Imagine the possibilities,
. Just be prepared for some strange ideas!
6. Laundry- washing, folding, ironing, sewing buttons and other small repairs.
7. Speaking in public- there are so many opportunities for this that are available. After Alex decided she wanted to memorize the Gettysburg Address (long story) I decided to phone and ask the organizers of a small function for MLK day if she could deliver the speech for them. They were thrilled, and the experience really gave Alex the confidence I was hoping for. I don't think she would have been able to find her own words to speak in front of so many right now, but delivering someone else's powerful message empowered her. I will continue to look for opportunities.
8. Kids choice- have them choose things they want to do/learn. Things they maybe think would be fun or cool. One of Alex's early ideas was to learn to Frenchbraid hair. She hasn't gotten it, but she did have to track down ideas and videos on HOW to do it. We keep a running list of things she wants to learn how to do. We have a second list for experiences and places she wants to visit...many of which will probably never happen, at least as long as she lives at home:)
9. Public transportation- this is a difficult one in the US. She won't be doing it on her own, but I want her to be able to read time tables and plan routes. We practiced this in England and France this year, but this will be an ongoing thing.
10) our Random Acts of Kindness book- there are tons of ideas on Pinterest for these, but she has gotten some great ideas from this. When she has an idea (such as we used our huge collection of sample toiletries from hotels to make gift bags for a local family shelter) I have her either phone the organizers (usually I phone first to arrange for her to 'arrange' things out of earshot-again, this will change as she ages) or allow her to do the talking in person.
11) doing things for neighbors/walking to their house on her own to take them items.
12) starting a business- I bought a composting set and she will be raising red wiggler worms! Who knew? But here they are sold to other composters ( she will be making kits), fishermen, and bait shops. For a first business, it is relatively low key and inexpensive...and super low maintenance:)
Anyway, these are some of the things we have been working on. There are others, but not all are fleshed out yet. I would love more ideas and input, so maybe others will jump in.
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