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Author Topic: how to say bye when leaving home to avoid him crying  (Read 8958 times)
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Swati Kumar
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« on: November 28, 2008, 08:53:46 AM »

My son is 1.6 yrs.whenever my hubby left for his office i usually took him into another room or distracted him.now that he is old ,i wonder if we should leave in front of him.

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kmum
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« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2008, 07:00:30 AM »

We have always told our kids that we were leaving & made a point of saying goodbye. 

I think that if you tell them you are leaving it can be upsetting, but you can do your best to explain when Daddy will return, and reinforce it when he does return.

If dh sneak out all the time, the child does not have the security of knowing when he will suddenly disappear, & the uncertainty can be very scary. 

Our kids have been quite good about us leaving.

You can make a big deal out of waving good bye out the window & then going back to the window & waving again as Daddy returns.

« Last Edit: November 30, 2008, 07:03:21 AM by kmum » Logged

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Grover
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« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2008, 09:16:05 AM »

My daughter always gets angry with me when I leave the house. I try to explain to her that I will be returning but it seems that she still does not accept it. Does anyone have any other ideas?

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Jake
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« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2008, 11:17:54 AM »

I have the same problem he does not want to leave me .this morning his father took him out ,it like he is going to kill him the way he cries.When i go out and he is taken out when he comes back he makes a tantrum if he does not see me home .It will be good idea if we try to make social story on this matter .When he was having tantrums to leave him school it is working.

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rixu
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« Reply #4 on: December 01, 2008, 08:19:53 AM »

NOW A DAYS ITS VERY difficult for me to say bye when i am leaving home. E cry so much that hurts me. i keep her to another room before i leave but she knew that i am going to go.

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jackie0109
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« Reply #5 on: December 01, 2008, 10:42:03 AM »

My son is 1.6 yrs.whenever my hubby left for his office i usually took him into another room or distracted him.now that he is old ,i wonder if we should leave in front of him.

You need to say a good words that you will be buying a gifts or toys to him upon home.

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Grover
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« Reply #6 on: December 01, 2008, 03:05:18 PM »

It seems that when I leave without telling her it fine at the time. But when I leave her with someone, like the babysitter or her father...they tell me that once she notices that I'm not there...She'll climb to the windowsill, bang on the window and shout "MOMMY, WHERE'S MY MOMMY? I AM REALLY ANGRY!!!"

I hate doing this to her but I don't know what other solutions there are. My daughter has autism and it is really hard to have her understand when I try to explain to her.

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ksomom
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« Reply #7 on: December 02, 2008, 01:06:40 AM »

I find routine is really important at my daughter's age.  If we follow the same routine each time I leave, she does better.  It doesn't mean she doesn't whine or whimper, but it does help to avoid a massive breakdown of screaming and crying.  I have been making a point to tell her to give me a hug and kiss and then tell her bye-bye and ask her to wave.  That seems to work for us, for now.  I did notice that when I try to sneak away or distract her first - sometimes it works, but other times she's just too smart!  She knows what I'm doing and it upsets her more, I think, when she realizes I'm trying to trick her.  It makes her unsettled and less confident- like she always has to keep one eye on me or I might disappear.  In fact, it seems that the anxiety got worse after I did the sneaking away thing for several times.  Poor thing.  I always feel bad, but separation anxiety is normal and common for this age.  I've read that it is a good idea to play peek-a-boo, hide-and-seek, and "where's mommy" type games, and to "practice" leaving by going to another room and telling them you'll be right back, going to another room and talking to them through the door, etc., doing it all in short intervals at first and longer periods of time gradually. 

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winth
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« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2008, 08:09:47 AM »

We will make sure both children gets to kiss us goodbye, followed by a hug.
My DS1 is very sensitive and emotional and will breakdown if he doesn't get to kiss us.

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Sapna1322
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« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2008, 12:47:21 PM »

Even my boy cries a lot when his father leaves for office.But i explain him that Daddy is going to office for u only.To bring $ (dollars) for us and if daddy will not go how $ will come and and if $ will not come how u will get good books ,good toys,how u will go to school right.Dont worry he will come back in the evening and i will take u out somewhere(but dont make false promises.if u r going to take than only give promise).Now let's play something or lets see LR.Than my son understands.Point is never lie and tell them everything sometimes they cries because they dont know what is happening and what is going to happen.So the idea is 'Say N Do' everything.

Sapna

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Sapna
paolita
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« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2008, 02:57:13 PM »

I think that the best way of  avoid crying is distract the children in other activities that make them forget like playing a game he/she likes, singing a song or giving him a toy he prefers to play with.

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