repeating the second grade

[Korrale4kq]

It seems that many people have bought up some very good things to look into. Diet and SPD. My other thought  was how does he sleep? Does he snore at all? My son and husband had obstructive apnea. This is one of the largest misdiagnosed medical conditions that is often mistaken for ADHD. It can definitely leave them foggy. 

[akalori]

DadDude,

No I haven't read Boys Adrift but I will look for it.  Our school isn't supportive of boys.  There are so many little issues that annoy me I could really rant all day.  The lack of support for his more active boyish learning style is just another annoyance.  My son is the kind of kid that if you make him sit still he nearly falls asleep.  He needs to fidget, move, and make lots of noise or his brain falls asleep.  However, I have to admit that he really does have learning issues beyond just being a boy.  I would love to homeschool him but I am afraid that I am not skilled enough.  He does some extra work with me at home but it is difficult to motivate him.  I'm not sure I could get him to do an adequate amount of work each day.  On the other hand, he is so overwhelmed by his school work.  I'm not sure that I would be as cooperative in his situation.  Also my family (including my husband) is against homeschooling.  My son borders on having some social issues due to lack of assertiveness.  Other kids notice his processing difficulties and pick on him.  My family thinks he needs to stay on school and work on assertiveness because the real world isn't any easier.  The largest issues is just the failure to teach my son to read on grade level and no one at the school seems to think it's a big deal.  They don't expect all special ed kids to learn to read on grade level so they don't make an increased effort in that area.  I don't think it is unreasonable to expect some intensive tutoring at this point.  It makes me crazy that while he is sitting at school that he is not learning.  He has a verbal IQ in the superior range.  I don't think my aspirations for him are unreasonable.  I have given up on the school and have hired an advocate.   I have a plan for his IEP that I think could result in some success.  Of course, so far the CST is fighting me on everything.  His IEP meeting will be this summer.  Yes, they have saved my IEP meeting for last. Anyway this is my new plan.
 
1.  Over the summer, he is having private tutoring 4 days per week x 6 weeks using the Wilson Reading Program.
2.  A different special ed teacher in the fall ( had the same one x 2 yrs)
3.  We hired a dyslexia specialist to oversee the school curriculum in the fall.  
4.  Individual tutor for reading at school rather than the resource room setting.  
5.  Additional tutoring after school with a reading specialist.
6.  Touch math with me throughout the summer
7.  Touch Math at school starting in fall.
8.  Retention in second grade so the overall curriculum is commensurate with his skill level

Lori

[DadDude]

I wouldn't dream of trying to advise you on what to do.  So don't take this as advice so much as general discussion of options...

Obviously, if your husband is against homeschooling (and, if you care, your family--I wouldn't care if my family was against it, but my wife is another matter), there's not much you can do there.  But if you think you can't do homeschooling yourself, maybe you should investigate that question a little more, because you might be wrong.  Many people used to worry about this, back in the 1970s and 1980s when very few people were homeschooling.  It is now the extremely common experience among homeschoolers that most parents, even those with just a high school education, can homeschool their children perfectly well.

In my layperson's opinion, there is no reason for any child to feel overwhelmed by school work.  If he does feel that way, it's not his fault, it's the fault of a school system that is pushing things on him that he is not ready for yet--and not giving him enough activities that he feels good enough about, which would keep up his motivation and interest.  You, his mother, know far better than his teacher (who has lots of students) what he is capable of doing right now, and you would be able to figure out without too much difficulty what educational activities would spark his interest (and focus).  Moreover, you're much more motivated than any teacher, tutor, or adviser could be.  You will go out of your way to find exactly the right solutions to the problems, and you probably lack most of the constraints that professional educators work under (such as specific texts, methods, times of day, periods, and so forth).

Obviously, I have little respect for the U.S. school system.  I know several bright teachers and administrators, but the bureaucratic, overconstrained "industrial" system ties their hands.  You, even if like me you lack formal training in education methods, are not beholden to this broken system.  I think it is highly likely that you will be able to do a much better job teaching your son than any specialists they have on staff, working as part of this broken system.

Anyway, if you're interested in pursuing that any further and/or changing your husband's mind, an excellent place to start is Dumbing Us Down  by John Taylor Gatto (http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/).

See if http://watchknowreader.busedge.com/ helps :-)  That will soon be renamed ReadingBear and greatly expanded.  Click "Short a" and "Settings".

Hmm, and as to socialization and assertiveness--your family is very probably wrong.  Again, this is an issue you can research and enlighten them about.  Most homeschooled kids are more self-confident, and polite, than their regular-schooled counterparts.  Did your family ever stop to think that one of the reasons your sweet little boy is unassertive is that he is not being supported by his peers, as friends support each other?  A lot of kids are beaten down, emotionally, by other kids in school.  Is that supposed to make them better prepared for "the real world"?  Your family might think so, but does that make the slightest bit of sense?  Surely the opposite is true: being constantly attacked, disrespected, and undermined will naturally make him lose self-confidence.  By contrast, if he grows up around you and others who love him, and goes to various extra-curricular activities and classes, he will probably gain the self-confidence that you can see in homeschooled kids.  When he goes out into the "real world," he will have learned how to behave and relate to others of a wide variety of ages, and have more experience interacting directly with adults.  And if you really have any serious doubts about how well homeschoolers adjust to the "real world" when they go out into it, here is some linkage for you:

http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000000/00000017.asp
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071004175543AA3k07W
http://www.homeschool.com/articles/socialization/default.asp
http://homeschooling.about.com/od/socialization/Socialization_How_to_deal_with_it.htm
http://learninfreedom.org/socialization.html
http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000000/00000068.asp

[Skippy]

Hello, I can appreciate that you are really concerned for your son.  I can't give you any answers, but I can offer a few ideas which may have been overlooked.  Does your son drink Cow's milk???  Please Do a web search for milk allergies and learning problems.  Then check out
http://www.grandmas-wisdom.com/milk-allergy.html
: If your child is being diagnosed as suffering the common emotional and learning disorders that public schools and physicians are insisting on putting your child on mind-altering drugs to control your child then you need to go to:
http://www.notmilk.com/
Research has proven children that suffer from;
•hyperactivity
•depression
•aggression
•learning problems
•delinquency
•recurrent infections
•intestinal symptom
•colds
•sinus infection
•emotional disorders
These may be signs your child is suffering from a form of food or environmental allergy.

Although you didn't mention if your son has Down's syndrome, even if he DOESN'T, I urge you to read what diet and supplements are doing for these Down's Syndrome kids, and then ask yourself, if there's something in diet or supplements which would help your boy.
http://www.changingmindsfoundation.org/documents/news_april_8__2009.html

I would definitely go on the internet and research diet, allergies, supplements and learning.

Home schooling clubs:  many areas with lots of home schoolers have clubs where the kids get together for activities, go on trips, etc.  Home schooling may not be as bad as your husband thinks.  If he thinks home schoolers sit in the corner and never socialize, hmm, maybe he needs to reconsider.  The other thing, is that even if you did home-school, you might not do it for 10 years, but maybe one or two. 

Building confidence:  My son was into music lessons, church programs, a scout-type program and Karate (martial arts).  He also took swimming, dancing, horseback riding, and ice skating.  He didn't take all of these lessons in the same year, of course,  but I feel that they were all useful. Try different things to discover your son's hidden talents.  These things build confidence and develop skills.  At this point, I would NOT recommend team sports, but maybe later, a few years from now.

AIR QUALITY:  Check on air quality at home, and possible contamination from cigarrette smoke.

MUSIC:  I've been a music teacher for almost 50 years.  AVOID television and the usual radio music.  Play music such as Mozart as well as slow Baroque.  Check out the effects of playing slow Baroque music.  This music should be gently in the background.
Do a web search for
www.acceleratedlearningmethods.com/auditory-stimulation.html -
Auditory Stimulation - Accelerated Learning Methods for ChildrenExperts in child brain development tell us Baroque (Largo tempo) is the best music to play while using accelerated learning methods because its cadence is ...
Here's another website:
http://home.blarg.net/~building/strategies/arts/brewer.htm

EXERCISE:  I can't find the website right now, but on TV there was a documentary on having ADHD kids do 1/2 hour of real exercise before classes began.  There attitude, focus, and even their grades went up.  I would definitely try this for at least 2 months.  TEST it out!!

SLEEP:  Does he sleep well? nightmares?  snoring? 

So those are the things that I would check out: 
DIET, ALLERGIES, SUPPLEMENTS,
SLEEP QUALITY
Air Quality
EXERCISE:  In the morning before school
MUSIC:  No Radio.  Gentle music
EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES: Scouts, Music Lessons, Sports, esp, Twae Kwon Do, Karate, etc.
HOMESCHOOLING:  TRY it for ONE year.

I would TRY all of the above for one year, before I would have a child repeat
a grade which is unfortunately, often more of the same.  When maybe what they need is LOTS and LOTS of an approach which is really different.  A Fresh new start.

All the best,
Skippy Mardon
 

[susankhan]

DadDude,   Love your advise and knowledge.  I agree with you 100 percent.   

Also make sure your child had NO artificial colors and or dyes in their food.  NO colored candy,  fruit juice (only natural)  stay away from things like red number 40 and so on.

Even cereals in the morning contain these hidden colors.

I have also heard wonders about a all natural vitamin called bright spark.  you may want to give it a try as it is all natural.

Milk is a big no no for so many and so is any dairy product for that matter.

A simple allergy test could help a lot.....


I am thinking of you and your family.

HUGS...

Susan Khan

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